Giving up

Not a phrase I use often, but I said it the other day.  First let me state I am not giving up on life so no alarms. I am a huge embracer of life and happiness. I am giving up the thought that I have any kind of control of certain aspects of my life.  So I am giving them up and letting it go. Deep inside they eat away at me. But everyday I never let on what they are or how real they are.

By letting go I am making myself fully accountable for those things also and taking some kind of charge of them. Instead of them owning me. Taking away from me. I am responsible for having some kind of control. Everyone is, be it health, financial, relationships, etc..

>YOU<

My evolution to understanding myself is that I never developed the ability to be angry. That’s not always a good thing because anger is a real part of being human. Having anger issues is a whole other thing.  But not being able to say” I give up on this… because it does nothing in my life but cause great pain” is empowering. Instead for me,  it often stays there inside and is present, even when I do nothing (not even think about it) but let it remain.  I take things in until it gets me to the point of being so frustrated it comes out as tears. Not little things, big life things.

By giving them up I also open myself up to the good and positive things.  People who tell you it’s b.s. are not capable of it. You’re in control … it takes little steps and giant leaps, sometimes ten steps back. YOU cannot give up.

Way back I remember reading Dune  by Frank Herbert – this always stuck with me:

Litany against fear

“I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.Where the fear has gone there will be nothing……Only I will remain.

Anger and control go hand in hand… but when it leaves you, you remain. And that’s ok…

Time for fishing….

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“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.” – Paulo Coehlo

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